[ Kanaya stands up straight and furrows her brow at that. ] I knocked, didn't I?
[ Really, it's the lack of gloves that surprises Kanaya most. She's lived with her before, but she still has trouble imagining what Ruka would look like relaxing. ]
Then come in already. [ She waves a hand in the open space. ] I thought the invitation myth didn't apply to you?
[ Once Kanaya is inside — even if Ruka has to resort to grabbing her by the arm and hauling her in — she shuts the door behind her, easily sliding the lock into place. ]
[ She steps inside, and moves around to where she might not be seen from the door. ]
It doesn't, but I didn't imagine you'd like me to step over you. Manners matter.
Anyway, [ She starts toying with her threads, preparing a portal, ] the nice thing about paying for my storage units in advance is that sometimes you come back before they've expired.
For you, that means a happy Christmas comes early.
[ She leans back against the wall by the door, hands finding place to rest in her pockets, still watching Kanaya with a measure of curiosity. The other girl has been gone since before Ruka returned, but she'd been here when Ruka left — she's not sure which of them endured the longer absence of the other, but either way, it's shorter than the chronological departure. It's not so much the time that she thinks of, but of appearances: she hasn't seen Kanaya without her Psychopomp's mask since before she'd departed, somewhere in the neighborhood of two-and-a-half calendar years ago, but beyond that, she can't recall seeing this much of Kanaya... ever, despite the time they lived together. Her presentation of casual had never been quite this ordinary.
It's a little disorienting. ]
I wondered if you might, [ she says instead, softer. It was always easier to hold onto things, passively accumulating the relics of the departed, than it was to make the choice to shed them. ] But I didn't want to presume.
I always had more money than I knew what to do with on this world, so I thought I might as well.
[ Ruka always was one of Lachesis' favorites, after all, and even when Kanaya doubted her survival, or just wasn't sure, it was Ruka's certainty that got her to rethink her stance. She and Lachesis had an odd sort of...loyalty to each other, even if that wasn't quite the right word for it. No matter how long she was gone, the chances that she might come back didn't lessen, not if Lachesis was still in the Porter, so it only made sense to keep her things somewhere.
Of course, it only turned out Lachesis wasn't in there after Kanaya exPorted, so she never would have known to change her perspective on the whole thing, anyway.
And so, she pulled in her threads and opened up a portal into her own apartment, windows blacked out and the only light coming from a table lamp. In the low light, Ruka might see papers covering the walls, arranged in some deliberate manner that still leaves too many pieces overlapping and sloppy: a work in progress. The glimpse inside doesn't look anywhere as neat as Kanaya's living place should, more like she's gotten in a fight or two with an army of notebooks, and possibly lost. There's likely some tragedy written about the notebook army's alliance with a tribe of empty wine bottles, and the heroic stand they made against her before succumbing to their collective fate.
The glimpse doesn't last too long, as Kanaya carries out three very large boxes before letting the threads go, letting the portal snap shut. ]
Here we are! [ She points to each box in turn. ] Clothes, paintings and art supplies, and then all other sundry. I let most of the furniture go when I moved out, so I hope you weren't missing any of it. That couch could have done with a good burning, anyway.
[ Looking back up, Kanaya gives her a small grimace. ] I meant to bring all this, well, at basically any time over the past month, but you know how things go.
[ The paranoia moodboard interior styling is a different look for Kanaya than Ruka would have expected, but — well, sometimes things like that happen. She doesn't know if Kanaya returned to her original universe at all, in their mutual absences; she doesn't know what happened in this world that could have changed things.
And with Ruka's own long history with self-treatment and self-destruction with alcohol, she doesn't have ground enough to say one word about Kanaya's empties.
It may not be a welcome thing, but it's not an uncommon thing.
She doesn't volunteer to help Kanaya move things — certainly not if it would involve crossing through those portals into Kanaya's own living space, dark and private as it appears at a glance — but there's plenty of space for her to deposit them in the living area. The boxes are... bigger than she expected, truthfully. Once the portal is closed, and Kanaya has indicated which package is which, Ruka finally pushes away from the wall, approaching the last. Her fingers trace over the sealing tape, reading nothing. ]
No, it's fine. They were mostly pre-furnished things, I think. I wasn't attached to any of them.
[ A beat. Her nails pick at the edges of the cellophane, looking for a place to peel it loose. It'd be more expedient to get scissors, or a knife, but the action is idle. ]
... I don't know if I'd said it already, but... thank you, for your help at the Moon Base. I know using your powers like that put your identity at risk.
[ She crumples into the couch, pulling her sunglasses up against her horns. The network of green veins in her eyes is probably no surprise, but the lack of makeup covering the dark circles under them isn't anything typical of her. ]
It...wouldn't have been right, to do otherwise. There were far more important things happening there than some identity I've cultivated that can't in any way last forever.
[ While she's on the subject: ] I'm guessing Jacob called you over the last few weeks. I should probably tell you that it didn't work.
[ She hesitates before responding. It had been close to what Ruka tried to warn her about, when she first arrived with that mask. A disguise like that wouldn't last forever; the people who cared about her would find out the ruse at one point or another, like how Ruka did in only one conversation. That there were more important things going on than... whatever it was, that made her feel a fresh start was worth the effort. It was the same mistake Ruka had made, but at least they weren't facing down the possibility of fucking Atropos when Ruka first returned.
But the exhaustion is too plain in Kanaya's face, and in her dress, and the way she melts into the furniture, and there's no point to stoking that fire. ]
I'm sorry. [ The condolence is sincere. Her nail pulls at the edge of tape, a punctuating skreeeeeetch of adhesive splitting, tearing away from the cardboard. ] It wasn't anything I said, was it? I didn't mean to sabotage your chances.
[ She waves a hand in the air, as if she could preemptively wave away any guilt Ruka's feeling. ]
Don't worry about it, I highly doubt it was your fault. I'm sure he took one look at my psychiatric evaluation and broke out in hives! There's only so much you can expect when I refused to offer any form of identification.
But it was all settled once I took the mask off. So, that makes three. [ ...out of five, but she's not getting into that. Instead, she leans forward to get a look in the box. ]
Who's the third? [ Idly asked; her attention is more on opening the box.
For the size of the box, some of its contents are nested into smaller boxes to prevent damage — a thorough job, even if not everything had much value for salvage. A bubble-wrapped hallway mirror; a chess set, its hidden pieces carved from rock; a wooden jewelry box; a cosmetics bag; a pair of stuffed animals used to protect an ornate glass tea pot; a matched set of three candle-holders; several knives and small daggers; a 2014 datebook; her old laptop.
Her expression remains somber. ]
... Yeah. Yes. Thank you.
[ But Ruka only manages to remove a few of these items before taking one with her to the couch. She sits, and balances the jewelry box on her knees, and does not open it. ]
The second was Kaneki, and he was about as inevitable as you. Would have been less so if I made a new costume, rather than recycling the Psychopomp from a previous mission that he led.
[ Most of the others are already gone, so she wouldn't have to worry about that for them. Except Terry, she's somehow managed to avoid seeing him since she got back.
She watches quietly as Ruka unpacks the box. The datebook catches her attention the most, she's surprised it isn't newer. But it's possible that Ruka kept it because it was important, and Kanaya wasn't going to throw it away, either. It was the last year Karkat was around, after all. ]
I was still in the apartment when you came back in 2016. After Ashiah hatched, but before the Soviets invaded. You decided to stay in your assigned housing, and by the end of March, I'd given up the apartment to do the same.
[ There was a lot that went into that decision, but it would mean sifting through too many memories to recall all of it. Even with all the work she's been doing to compartmentalize it, it's easier to recall the what than the why. Rose had ported out, followed by her family, and Kanaya was starting to get back on her feet, that must have been a big part of it.
Mostly, the only feeling she can recall from the time was loneliness. ]
They actually placed me in the house across from yours, so it was easy to get your belongings before anyone else collected them, once you exPorted a few months later.
[ She rolls her eye a little at the emphasis: she'd meant the third name in the list, not necessarily the order of reveal. But she listens quietly to the rest, piecing the time together. She'd been back for only six months, the last time — a time she's already eclipsed in this most recent return — but the whole time had felt like drifting through a fog, unmotivated and unmoored. Kanaya had been one of only two, three people Ruka had been even amenable to, but returning to the apartment she'd originally shared with Karkat, who had never returned... even that was too much to endure.
Her nails scratch at the seam of the jewelry box. ]
That makes sense, [ she decides on after a moment, lips pursing. Her thumbs settle on the lid, but she doesn't open it yet. ]
... Have you talked to Jaime? It's... it's pretty likely that Khaji Da will tell him, if he hasn't already. About you. [ There, she glances at Kanaya, a little chagrined. ] Sorry. It's hard to keep a secret from someone in your head.
[ If Ruka was expecting less pedantry, she's talking to the wrong person. Of course Jacob would have to be the third, because his position there was very specific, both to what Kanaya is saying, and what she isn't. Ruka's question only makes that a little more clear. ]
I have. He's number four. [ There it is. ] Unless he and Khaji Da count separately, which is...still something I'm trying to wrap my head around. Either way, if you had to accidentally tell someone, they're probably the best candidates for it. Or Jaime is, at least. I know him, and I know I can trust him.
[ She doesn't know Khaji Da well enough to say for him, she didn't even know he existed a month ago. If she doesn't dwell on it here, it's mostly because she isn't sure Ruka's the audience for it. She doesn't really know how well she might know either. If she wants to know about Khaji, she should probably ask Jaime about it.
Seeing Ruka's bare hands on the jewelry box reminds her of a lingering question from the moon. A conflict with what she's known before, and something that surprised her earlier.
She nods in that direction. ] I meant to ask about it earlier, but your powers have changed, haven't they?
Yeah. It's still empathy, but it's broader. Proximity. A little bit of manipulation, but it's too invasive, I haven't tested it at all. Other stuff, too, but... I'm still not sure what to make of it.
[ It's not very in-depth, but Kanaya's been around long enough to know how those sorts of abilities go. As ever, Ruka finds herself the least interesting of all presented topics, so she reroutes. ]
As for them, yeah. They're a set, but they're very different people. Any time you've talked to Jaime, Khaji Da's almost certainly been there, too, but if you talk to Khaji, Jaime might just sleep through it. Just depends.
[ In the end, maybe it's not surprising: if not Jaime himself, Ruka might be one of the better people to ask about them — or at least, one of the best people left. ]
Khaji Da's more pragmatic, Jaime's more compassionate. Stuff like that.
You didn't know he was the Blue Beetle until just then, right?
[ Proximity. Like Karkat. That fits with what she said about feeling the Negotiator's heart, and of course means she's feeling her heart now. Even as transparent as she tends to be unintentionally, it's always uncomfortable to know when she's even more transparent than that. ]
More that I didn't know the Blue Beetle was him...them. I've met Jaime a few times, but wouldn't have said I knew him until it turned out I did. But Blue Beetle has helped me through very difficult times, and fought at my side through numerous crises.
I couldn't count how many lives continue still on this planet because of what they do. He is--They are a proper superhero, not like most of the useless fucks who claim the title.
[ Which is a lot more than Ruka asked, but the Blue Beetle's a big dude in Kanaya's mind, she just can't help letting some of that hero worship out. ]
Now, it seems what I knew was Khaji Da's power tempered and guided by Jaime Reyes' heart.
[ Hero worship or not, it's good to hear her speak so positively of them; Jaime's been a dear friend to her twice over now, and the Blue Beetle was, quite literally, the first hero that had ever helped her. Her own feelings are complicated once nuance and separation come in, but it hasn't done anything to change that childish sense of debt and loyalty.
If she's looking for it, Kanaya might even catch the faintest edge of a smile at the corner of her mouth, but it subsides quickly. ]
Yeah, it's close to that. Khaji usually manifests in the larger form when he's the one "driving," I've found. Jaime's the "face," so the Blue Beetle you usually see is him at the wheel. With the way my powers are now, I can still feel Khaji Da's presence... um, "overlapping" with Jaime, even when they're not suited up. They're not completely synchronized, but they're not separate either.
I don't know how much you read back, over what you missed, but... they're the ones that got everything organized enough to stop the bombing, last March. When Lachesis locked us in a constant rewind, to prevent our destruction. Jaime'll never take credit for it, I don't think, if you bring it up, but... without them, none of us would still be here, for certain.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action.
[ Really, it's the lack of gloves that surprises Kanaya most. She's lived with her before, but she still has trouble imagining what Ruka would look like relaxing. ]
No, it's more of a social call. A delivery, even.
[ She glances down the hall. ] Ten seconds.
no subject
[ Once Kanaya is inside — even if Ruka has to resort to grabbing her by the arm and hauling her in — she shuts the door behind her, easily sliding the lock into place. ]
no subject
It doesn't, but I didn't imagine you'd like me to step over you. Manners matter.
Anyway, [ She starts toying with her threads, preparing a portal, ] the nice thing about paying for my storage units in advance is that sometimes you come back before they've expired.
For you, that means a happy Christmas comes early.
no subject
It's a little disorienting. ]
I wondered if you might, [ she says instead, softer. It was always easier to hold onto things, passively accumulating the relics of the departed, than it was to make the choice to shed them. ] But I didn't want to presume.
no subject
[ Ruka always was one of Lachesis' favorites, after all, and even when Kanaya doubted her survival, or just wasn't sure, it was Ruka's certainty that got her to rethink her stance. She and Lachesis had an odd sort of...loyalty to each other, even if that wasn't quite the right word for it. No matter how long she was gone, the chances that she might come back didn't lessen, not if Lachesis was still in the Porter, so it only made sense to keep her things somewhere.
Of course, it only turned out Lachesis wasn't in there after Kanaya exPorted, so she never would have known to change her perspective on the whole thing, anyway.
And so, she pulled in her threads and opened up a portal into her own apartment, windows blacked out and the only light coming from a table lamp. In the low light, Ruka might see papers covering the walls, arranged in some deliberate manner that still leaves too many pieces overlapping and sloppy: a work in progress. The glimpse inside doesn't look anywhere as neat as Kanaya's living place should, more like she's gotten in a fight or two with an army of notebooks, and possibly lost. There's likely some tragedy written about the notebook army's alliance with a tribe of empty wine bottles, and the heroic stand they made against her before succumbing to their collective fate.
The glimpse doesn't last too long, as Kanaya carries out three very large boxes before letting the threads go, letting the portal snap shut. ]
Here we are! [ She points to each box in turn. ] Clothes, paintings and art supplies, and then all other sundry. I let most of the furniture go when I moved out, so I hope you weren't missing any of it. That couch could have done with a good burning, anyway.
[ Looking back up, Kanaya gives her a small grimace. ] I meant to bring all this, well, at basically any time over the past month, but you know how things go.
no subject
And with Ruka's own long history with self-treatment and self-destruction with alcohol, she doesn't have ground enough to say one word about Kanaya's empties.
It may not be a welcome thing, but it's not an uncommon thing.
She doesn't volunteer to help Kanaya move things — certainly not if it would involve crossing through those portals into Kanaya's own living space, dark and private as it appears at a glance — but there's plenty of space for her to deposit them in the living area. The boxes are... bigger than she expected, truthfully. Once the portal is closed, and Kanaya has indicated which package is which, Ruka finally pushes away from the wall, approaching the last. Her fingers trace over the sealing tape, reading nothing. ]
No, it's fine. They were mostly pre-furnished things, I think. I wasn't attached to any of them.
[ A beat. Her nails pick at the edges of the cellophane, looking for a place to peel it loose. It'd be more expedient to get scissors, or a knife, but the action is idle. ]
... I don't know if I'd said it already, but... thank you, for your help at the Moon Base. I know using your powers like that put your identity at risk.
no subject
It...wouldn't have been right, to do otherwise. There were far more important things happening there than some identity I've cultivated that can't in any way last forever.
[ While she's on the subject: ] I'm guessing Jacob called you over the last few weeks. I should probably tell you that it didn't work.
no subject
But the exhaustion is too plain in Kanaya's face, and in her dress, and the way she melts into the furniture, and there's no point to stoking that fire. ]
I'm sorry. [ The condolence is sincere. Her nail pulls at the edge of tape, a punctuating skreeeeeetch of adhesive splitting, tearing away from the cardboard. ] It wasn't anything I said, was it? I didn't mean to sabotage your chances.
no subject
Don't worry about it, I highly doubt it was your fault. I'm sure he took one look at my psychiatric evaluation and broke out in hives! There's only so much you can expect when I refused to offer any form of identification.
But it was all settled once I took the mask off. So, that makes three. [ ...out of five, but she's not getting into that. Instead, she leans forward to get a look in the box. ]
Anything good?
no subject
For the size of the box, some of its contents are nested into smaller boxes to prevent damage — a thorough job, even if not everything had much value for salvage. A bubble-wrapped hallway mirror; a chess set, its hidden pieces carved from rock; a wooden jewelry box; a cosmetics bag; a pair of stuffed animals used to protect an ornate glass tea pot; a matched set of three candle-holders; several knives and small daggers; a 2014 datebook; her old laptop.
Her expression remains somber. ]
... Yeah. Yes. Thank you.
[ But Ruka only manages to remove a few of these items before taking one with her to the couch. She sits, and balances the jewelry box on her knees, and does not open it. ]
... How long was I gone? Before you decided to...
no subject
[ Most of the others are already gone, so she wouldn't have to worry about that for them. Except Terry, she's somehow managed to avoid seeing him since she got back.
She watches quietly as Ruka unpacks the box. The datebook catches her attention the most, she's surprised it isn't newer. But it's possible that Ruka kept it because it was important, and Kanaya wasn't going to throw it away, either. It was the last year Karkat was around, after all. ]
I was still in the apartment when you came back in 2016. After Ashiah hatched, but before the Soviets invaded. You decided to stay in your assigned housing, and by the end of March, I'd given up the apartment to do the same.
[ There was a lot that went into that decision, but it would mean sifting through too many memories to recall all of it. Even with all the work she's been doing to compartmentalize it, it's easier to recall the what than the why. Rose had ported out, followed by her family, and Kanaya was starting to get back on her feet, that must have been a big part of it.
Mostly, the only feeling she can recall from the time was loneliness. ]
They actually placed me in the house across from yours, so it was easy to get your belongings before anyone else collected them, once you exPorted a few months later.
no subject
Her nails scratch at the seam of the jewelry box. ]
That makes sense, [ she decides on after a moment, lips pursing. Her thumbs settle on the lid, but she doesn't open it yet. ]
... Have you talked to Jaime? It's... it's pretty likely that Khaji Da will tell him, if he hasn't already. About you. [ There, she glances at Kanaya, a little chagrined. ] Sorry. It's hard to keep a secret from someone in your head.
no subject
I have. He's number four. [ There it is. ] Unless he and Khaji Da count separately, which is...still something I'm trying to wrap my head around. Either way, if you had to accidentally tell someone, they're probably the best candidates for it. Or Jaime is, at least. I know him, and I know I can trust him.
[ She doesn't know Khaji Da well enough to say for him, she didn't even know he existed a month ago. If she doesn't dwell on it here, it's mostly because she isn't sure Ruka's the audience for it. She doesn't really know how well she might know either. If she wants to know about Khaji, she should probably ask Jaime about it.
Seeing Ruka's bare hands on the jewelry box reminds her of a lingering question from the moon. A conflict with what she's known before, and something that surprised her earlier.
She nods in that direction. ] I meant to ask about it earlier, but your powers have changed, haven't they?
no subject
[ It's not very in-depth, but Kanaya's been around long enough to know how those sorts of abilities go. As ever, Ruka finds herself the least interesting of all presented topics, so she reroutes. ]
As for them, yeah. They're a set, but they're very different people. Any time you've talked to Jaime, Khaji Da's almost certainly been there, too, but if you talk to Khaji, Jaime might just sleep through it. Just depends.
[ In the end, maybe it's not surprising: if not Jaime himself, Ruka might be one of the better people to ask about them — or at least, one of the best people left. ]
Khaji Da's more pragmatic, Jaime's more compassionate. Stuff like that.
You didn't know he was the Blue Beetle until just then, right?
no subject
More that I didn't know the Blue Beetle was him...them. I've met Jaime a few times, but wouldn't have said I knew him until it turned out I did. But Blue Beetle has helped me through very difficult times, and fought at my side through numerous crises.
I couldn't count how many lives continue still on this planet because of what they do. He is--They are a proper superhero, not like most of the useless fucks who claim the title.
[ Which is a lot more than Ruka asked, but the Blue Beetle's a big dude in Kanaya's mind, she just can't help letting some of that hero worship out. ]
Now, it seems what I knew was Khaji Da's power tempered and guided by Jaime Reyes' heart.
no subject
If she's looking for it, Kanaya might even catch the faintest edge of a smile at the corner of her mouth, but it subsides quickly. ]
Yeah, it's close to that. Khaji usually manifests in the larger form when he's the one "driving," I've found. Jaime's the "face," so the Blue Beetle you usually see is him at the wheel. With the way my powers are now, I can still feel Khaji Da's presence... um, "overlapping" with Jaime, even when they're not suited up. They're not completely synchronized, but they're not separate either.
I don't know how much you read back, over what you missed, but... they're the ones that got everything organized enough to stop the bombing, last March. When Lachesis locked us in a constant rewind, to prevent our destruction. Jaime'll never take credit for it, I don't think, if you bring it up, but... without them, none of us would still be here, for certain.