In that case, isn't it for the best that you didn't know? It's all hypothetical, now, but... if you'd spent those weeks worrying about me, I'm sure somebody would have noticed.
Well, first of all, I think you'd be surprised with how much nobody would notice that.
Second, you're not getting out of not thinking to tell me if something happens to you! I mean, I'd... I have made sure you'd know. If something happens.
[ She initially types Oh I am not, but that's not really true, is it? Even with just what's happened in the last three months, the last six, the last nine... it's more than anyone knows. Rua doesn't know everything. Even Jaime doesn't know everything. Pieces, sure, but each one is pried from her hands with more effort and strain than anyone else should bother going through — but even knowing that doesn't make it any easier for her to say. ]
I suppose.
[ Even that is as close as she can get to saying it. There's so much she never wants to say. ]
The more things change, huh? You'd think it would get easier.
Shit, tell me about it. These things aren't meant to be easy.
[ He could talk about the reasons for his reticence, but that in itself is an admittance of his own, on either the things he's done, or what's happened to him, or the multitude of things that have just simply gone wrong over the years. Mitchell isn't the type to be so honest. He doesn't think he can be now. }
It's fine. This means we know how the other works, and what's... just straight up reticence, and what's a step too far.
You think so? Even if you could go back, with all these years and all this distance? Who would ever understand what you've gone through? It wouldn't be the same as you remember.
[ ... ]
... But I suppose the years are different, when you have more of them behind you.
[ After all, Mitch was already in his forties back then. He'd done his growing, he had his career, he knew his life trajectory. Ten years to a man like that is a lot, but it's not the same. ]
I mean, I know I have a purpose, being back home. It's one that still lingers, and I assume someday I'll fulfill it.
I can't be here forever, right?
[ Even now, it's obvious, Mitchell operates like he'll go home any day. Like someday the weight of what he's done here will still affect what happens back home. ]
I expect... if some people we used to know came back, they'd have a different point in time entirely. I'm...not sure that's a good thing, but it happens.
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But what if they think there's... I don't know, other emotions. We can't have that either.
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In that case, isn't it for the best that you didn't know? It's all hypothetical, now, but... if you'd spent those weeks worrying about me, I'm sure somebody would have noticed.
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Second, you're not getting out of not thinking to tell me if something happens to you!
I mean, I'd... I have made sure you'd know. If something happens.
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Would you?
Really?
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You know you're on my -- erm... list.
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I didn't think that would ever change.
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Well, you know. You're the same way.
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I suppose.
[ Even that is as close as she can get to saying it. There's so much she never wants to say. ]
The more things change, huh? You'd think it would get easier.
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[ He could talk about the reasons for his reticence, but that in itself is an admittance of his own, on either the things he's done, or what's happened to him, or the multitude of things that have just simply gone wrong over the years. Mitchell isn't the type to be so honest. He doesn't think he can be now. }
It's fine. This means we know how the other works, and what's... just straight up reticence, and what's a step too far.
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Then maybe it's time we caught up. It's been a... long few months.
At least, it's felt that way to me.
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It's...hard, knowing you don't belong somewhere, and yet... you're still here.
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I don't know...I still feel like I... belong in New York City.
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[ ... ]
... But I suppose the years are different, when you have more of them behind you.
[ After all, Mitch was already in his forties back then. He'd done his growing, he had his career, he knew his life trajectory. Ten years to a man like that is a lot, but it's not the same. ]
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I mean, I know I have a purpose, being back home. It's one that still lingers, and I assume someday I'll fulfill it.
I can't be here forever, right?
[ Even now, it's obvious, Mitchell operates like he'll go home any day. Like someday the weight of what he's done here will still affect what happens back home. ]
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I expect... if some people we used to know came back, they'd have a different point in time entirely. I'm...not sure that's a good thing, but it happens.
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But I don't believe anyone *goes* back. Not for real.
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Where do you think we go, then?
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A ghost in the machine?
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It makes more sense than "paused time," doesn't it?
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I don't know, alternate universes are really complicated. I don't doubt any theories.